If We Meditate Honestly, It's Probably NSFW

"You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."

By Sam Yang - Get similar updates here

I consider this video by YouTuber Jason Headley, either a very funny "street-level" parody of meditation or a very "zen" rant on how to get over bullshit. I think it's both. Whether you watch it or actually follow along, laughing and nodding your head while meditating — you'll feel a lot better.

In F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems, Harvard trained psychiatrist, Dr. Michael Bennett writes:

If you’re willing to accept what you can’t change, we have many positive suggestions for improving the way you manage the shit on your plate—beginning with not wasting time repeating what hasn’t been working.

F*ck That: An Honest Meditation

Sit or lie comfortably.
Quietly.
Allow yourself to be here, fully, in this moment.
With your eyes closed, begin to connect with your inner world of thought and feeling.
Gradually, let the horseshit of the external world fade from your awareness.
If you find your mind wandering to other thoughts, don’t let it concern you.
Just acknowledge that all that shit is fucking bullshit.
You’re here now, in this place, with your inner stillness.
Those bitches can’t get under your skin.
They can’t even.
Take in a deep breath.
Now breathe out.
Just feel the fucking nonsense float away.
Take full, deep breaths.
Breathe in strength, breathe out bullshit.
Allow your breathing to discover its own natural, unhurried pace.
If your thoughts drift to the three-ring shit show of your life, bring your attention back to your breathing.
And with each breath, feel your body saying—fuck that.
With passive acceptance, just allow distracting thoughts to float by.
Fuck that.
With each breath you take, your thoughts become lighter, and all the soul-eating cocksuckers just fall away into nothing.
Take a moment to appreciate the silence.
Those assholes can’t piss all over a purity like this.
You are weightless.
Timeless.
Without beginning or end.
Completely relaxed and free of thought.
And as you slowly open your eyes, greet the world and everything in it with a new beautiful breath—of fuck that.

This may sound like a joke if it were not true but the newest and quickest rising genre within self-help is called, "How Not to Give a Fuck." Also on the rise is the ancient practice of Stoicism. (Not as an adjective but as a way of living the good life.) Jason Headley's video became so popular, it spawned a book.

Society is changing. Society's needs are changing. Some like profound clichés. Others want practical and blunt wisdom.

You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.
— Marcus Aurelius
[Y]our primary goal is not to get rid of negative feelings and feel better, but to block them from controlling your behavior while you continue to act like a decent person.

In The Path, Harvard professor Michael Puett writes:

Many of us now believe that each of us should be a unique individual who knows himself. We believe we should be authentic, loyal to a truth we now tend to locate not in a higher deity but within ourselves. We aim to live up to the self we were meant to be.

But what if these ideas that we believe enhance our lives are actually limiting us?

In other words, what if our solution is the problem? What if the things we believe that are supposed to help us are bullshit, and only make things worse?

Then we need the courage to say, "Fuck that." Let it go, and try something new.

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